long story short

a big day

Hutton was baptized two weeks ago. I meant to post some photos. But, I don't know... I've been kind of emotional about it (in a good way). And it's hard to post when you get a giant lump in your throat every time you look at the photos.

It was a happy day, a day we've really looked forward to. When you have a child who overcomes health issues, the milestones seem to be extra special. K and I have become those weirdo parents who get teary at everything Hutton does. First soccer/football/basketball/baseball game? Tears. First day of school? Sniff-sniff. He gets chosen to read his story over the loudspeaker at school? More tears. I should probably admit that I get choked up when any of my kids do something great (it's genetic), but, with this one... well, it's ridiculous. 

Not all of you share our faith, so I should explain that, in our church, we baptize children when they turn 8. They are baptized by a priesthood holder. Hutton was baptized by Madsen. (Just typing that made me choke up. Sheesh!) Watching my oldest son baptize my youngest son was amazing. 

Hutton took his decision to be baptized very seriously. Extremely seriously. He's like a little old man sometimes and this was one of those times. He was very thoughtful about the decision. We had many discussions about his beliefs. He had questions that made me smile... and think about my own beliefs, my own baptism day.

The baptism went off without a hitch...pretty much. Then, Hutton was confirmed by his dad. Very sweet.

My family was there, as always, to support and to celebrate. I'm always touched by how my siblings seem to get how big these moments are. One sister and her family drove nearly three hours just to be here, then turned right around and drove back home that same night. I missed my parents (who are out of the country on a mission...again) and my siblings that live far away, but those that were here made the day fun.

The day ended in the way our events usually end. With treats. I made my grandma's pumpkin chiffon pies -- in miniature. My sisters, aunt and a friend pitched in too. 

             
              

So... it was a big day. My house was filled with laughter and love, which is just how I like it.

I'm happy. My baby is growing up; all my children are happy; my family and friends are the best... life is good.

(See why I get that lump in my throat?)

 

 

sunday afternoons at my house

    



On Sundays, after church and lunch, our house gets quiet. The books come out, we choose our favorite quilts and reading spots and we... relax. Ahhhhhh. 

We usually bake cookies in the evening, sometimes we call cousins to come over. Today, we all curled up, like cats, in sunny spots. Some people took naps, recharging after a too-busy week. We were out of eggs (how did that happen? so weird...), so we didn't even make treats. 

I know I have so much catching up to do on my blog. But not today. Today I enjoyed the quiet, loving that all the kids were home and that there was nothing that just had to be done.

This was my spot today...

...cozy chair, my favorite quilt. I even had Hutton squeezed in there for a few minutes, while we finished Howie Bowles, Secret Agent (Howie solved the mystery, in case you wondered).

I love Sundays like today. I hope you had a good one too.

 

 

family service project / no one looks good in a hairnet

We went as a family to volunteer at Welfare Square a couple of weeks ago. It took less coercion than I'd expected. Maybe that's because no one told us about the awesome hairnets that are required there.

Yes, we looked hideous. But we looked hideous together, which made it okay. Sort of. (i can't BELIEVE i just posted a photo of myself in a hairnet!)

We were assigned to can flour. I think we made a great team. K, Mac and Walker were the can fillers, Madsen ran the machine, I was the can labeler and hutton was the boxer/stacker/supervisor.

I was a little surprised (although I guess I shouldn't have been) at who got into it the most. Can you guess?

    

He was all business, that one. So serious about his work. He didn't not appreciate the messing around that he observed from some of the other teams, no he did not. He worked hard, he wore the hairnet and plastic gloves with pride.

I loved seeing my kids working together, donating their time to helping out. It made me think we need to do these projects a lot more often. Even though it's a rush to get there and a hassle to work around everyone's schedules, and even though we have to wear those hairnets (seriously, i can't get over it. the kids look okay, the little ones even sort of adorable, but me? yikes!)... it's worth it. And it's fun.

Yes, I think we'll go again.

Between now and then, I've got to design a better hairnet.

walker...front and back

I should have posted sooner. But, time has been strange these past few days since Walker's surgery.

It has been a miraculous week. I mean that.

Walker's surgery went remarkably smoothly, just over two hours. We feel fortunate to have an amazing surgeon -- and the anesthesiologist? Well, I had to force myself not to bear hug him when he came to check on the patient. He took extra steps to make sure that Walker was as comfortable as possible... and it worked. Walker slept most of the day of surgery and, when he finally woke up, he was comfortable -- without any nausea! None! 

On day 2, Walker announced that he was ready to go home. He got off the IV painkillers and sat up and took some steps. So, the doctor signed release papers and we went home that night.

Crazy, right? It's so strange...what you see from the back doesn't match what you see from the front with this kid. See?

The back (this is on day 6. gnarly, right? it looks so painful)...

And here's the front...

He feels good. He's up and around. He started reading yesterday. He's taking fewer painkillers every day. And, he says he's bored. (Bored! Yay!) Apparently, I am boring. I took him for a drive up the canyon today. He said it was "sweet", but I could tell he was bored. He snuck out yesterday with his lacrosse stick. He moves gingerly and can't turn his head, but he wants to play lacrosse. 

I heard from one of my friends that her daughter and "a whole bunch of kids from school" fasted for Walker on Tuesday.

They are fourteen years old.

See what I mean by a miraculous week?

 

walker...7 months later

A lot can happen in 7 months. Remember Walker's surgery last February? You may have wondered how he's been doing. Let me share the good stuff first. In the months since the surgery, Walker has grown a couple of inches (he's taller than I am!) and gained about twenty (much-needed) pounds. He's been playing lacrosse (practice only, no games), working out with Madsen and getting stronger. His symptoms (mostly horrible headaches) have gone away completely. He feels and looks great.

It's so good. We feel blessed.

Since some of my dearest friends follow my blog and, because I don't keep in touch as well as I should, I thought I would give the latest update. Walker had his six-month appointment in September. We were disappointed to find out that the syrinx (blockage) in his spine has not gone away -- it hasn't even gotten any smaller. 

Long story short: Walker needs another surgery. It's tomorrow.

Although I've had a few moments of sadness/fear/frustration, I've been given many reminders that I have much to be thankful for. I've met people and had conversations that seem to be exactly right -- at the right moment. Walker has been involved in the decisions that we've had to make regarding his surgery (we were given two difficult options).  He has been so thoughtful in his decision-making -- when did he get so grown up?

I have come to realize something that is humbling and overwhelming, and that is that this boy trusts me. He believes I will make the right choices for him. He has more faith in me than I have in myself. 

And so, I've done what I believe a mother does when her fourteen-year-old son looks at her with eyes that are sure and unwavering. I've gotten to work to find the answers. I have spent hours researching, sending the most pertinent information to my most trusted partner and advisor: K, the king of logic and numbers; I have called other mothers who've had to make similar choices for their kids; I have consulted with K, my amazing family and another (kind and patient) doctor; and I have prayed... a lot. K and I have spent countless hours discussing, worrying, deciding, then changing our minds and deciding again. In the end, I had to listen to my heart and, when Walker came to me and told me what he wanted to do, and it matched perfectly with what I'd been feeling... the decision was made.

And so, once again, we are moving forward, looking toward days when Walker is running around again. 

I am being reminded -- every day -- that I don't have to make decisions alone, that I am being watched over and helped. I am also learning that the trust of a child turns us into stronger people than we thought we were.

 

12 on the 12th

Today is Mac's birthday. 

He's twelve.

Twelve!

Doesn't twelve sound so much older than eleven? It does, right?

A few things have changed over this last year. More girls are stopping by the house to see if Mac is home -- sometimes they bring a treat, other times they toilet paper or perpetrate some other such vandalizing nonsense; Mac gets less riled by the torment dished out by his brothers...so now it's less fun (for the bros), which means...it's just less (four boys that get along? awesome!); his obsessions have expanded from sports and guitar to sports, guitar and longboarding. 

A few things haven't changed. Mac still recites funny lines from tv and movies; he's still a friend to everyone and makes sure all are included; he still gives the best back rubs; he still needs to be reminded that school is for learning, not just for chatting. And, of course, there's the hair. Still long (sorry, mom!).

Above all, he's still more himself than any other person I know. He's okay with who he is and just assumes that everyone likes him. He doesn't worry about what everyone else is doing or what they think... he just goes his own way, happy if others join, but okay if it's just him. His friends love him. We all do. I think it's because he accepts us all just as we are and doesn't seem to notice when we're less than our best. He's one happy kid.

Kinda makes you want to be twelve, doesn't it?

 

a birthday shout-out

Today we celebrate one of my favorite people. Today is Brinley's birthday. We made her come home for a birthday dinner yesterday (I think, secretly, she really wanted to). It was low-key. Just our family, plus Taylor, who after all these years of best-friendship with Brins, is family. It was a nice, quiet Sunday at home.

I walked by Brinley's room in the evening and saw her curled up with Hutton, reading to him. Since she's been away, I've found Hutton sleeping in her bed a few times. He'll never admit it... but I think he misses her. His eyes lit up yesterday when I told him that we'd brought Brinley home and she was in her room. Of course, he totally doesn't care. He's too tough for that...sheesh.

K and I drove Brins back to her dorm last night. We had a philosophical discussion on the way home about the differences in life-perception between teenagers and "old people" (adults). We exchanged thoughts and ideas. We laughed. We mocked the kid serenading a girl with his guitar at the dorms as we drove up. So cheesy! And I wondered if the day would come that Brinley might think it not-so-cheesy. (hopefully not for awhile)

We said our goodbyes, then K and I parked the car and quickly prepared a little surprise (do you know how hard it is to stick candy to a door when you're trying to be sneaky and your daughter is on the other side of the door? no? well, it's hard).

So cheesy, I know. But, nothing says HAPPY BIRTHDAY quite like cheap candy stuck to your door -- and double-sided tape that will have to be picked off later. Well, nothing except maybe just saying...

...happy birthday, brinley!

 

xoxo

 

ps- for those of you who keep track of such things: yes, madsen's birthday was two weeks ago; and no, i didn't post anything. that's not because i don't love madsen like crazy -- because, of course, i do. and i tell him all the time. he even says "love you" back...about 50% of the time.

the real reason for my negligence is that i had no good pictures. isn't that lame? for madsen's birthday we did a more-baskteball-stuff-because-he's-getting-so-huge-and-nothing-fits shopping spree and dinner at California Pizza Kitchen, a restaurant dear to madsen's heart for its plentiful supply of plain cheese pizza and, his fave -- naked noodles -- upon request. (yup, that's noodles with NOTHING on them. i can't believe that child came from my womb. honestly!). we took a couple of his buddies and these are the only photos (from my phone, no less) that i have.

happy (late) birthday, mads.

adventures in aviation

Hutton has been wanting a remote control helicopter for a while. Walker has one, but he never lets Hutton fly it. Or touch it. So, you can imagine his excitement when K walked in one night with a helicopter just for him, with lights and everything -- for no special reason even! Hutton carefully read all of the instructions, then he set a timer so that the helicopter would charge for precisely two hours, as instructed. I felt honored to be invited to the maiden voyage.

We drove to the school -- more open space, you know. There were other people there, which made this first flight even more exciting!

I helpfully pointed out this sign, which the guys ignored:

(K retorted that a model helicopter is not the same as a model airplane).

Like a good dad, K acted as the launching pad and let Hutton take the controls -- even though I think he really wanted to fly the chopper himself.

Hutton assured me that he knew what he was doing. He was so pro! He sent that thing flying! (notice the awesome lights!)

And then...

...yeah, too high. Too high, then too far, then the chopper went rogue. Seriously, it just kept flying, further and further away. Hutton's loyal companion/assistant tried to help. The spectators just stared, awestruck.

In the end, we saw helicopter fall from the sky, beyond the school, across the street and into someone's backyard. No big deal, says K. We'll just knock on the door and ask if we can get our likely-mangled helicopter. So they did. Fortunately, the lady who lived there was nice (sort of).

UNfortunately, her yard looked like this! (holy cow! it just goes to show that you never know what lurks behind someone's fence).

I know you're on the edge of your seat! Did we find the helicopter in that jungle of weeds and trees?!

What do you think?

It was a long walk back to the car...minus one super-cool helicopter with lights.

 

editors note: i'm realizing that this is kind of a sad story. would it help to know that K brought home another helicopter? yes? okay, he did. but that helicopter was kind of, well, broken. that actually makes the story even worse, doesn't it?

the only thing that saves this story is that (1) thinking about it makes me laugh; (2) even though it didn't turn out as planned, we had so much fun with hutton that day. watching him figure out the instructions and get that thing flying so high was priceless; and (3), after a few minutes, and a few tears, even hutton couldn't help grinning about the whole thing.

we haven't stopped talking about that awesome, crazy helicopter.

the empty house

      

The kids went back to school last week. The little boys were annoyed embarrassed happy to have their picture taken to document the first day.

        

I know what you're thinking: new school year --  what's the big deal? Except that, those of you who know me well, know that Brinley started college this year. That's the big deal, people!

Last year was sort of strange because, for the first time, all the kids were in school full days. I filled my time with PTA to make the transition... easier...? (note to self: there are other ways to fill your time other than being PTA co-president. ways that are, actually, easier. duh.)

 

But this year, the house seems different (before you say it, smartypants: yes, dad, i know it actually is a different house, but that's not what i mean) ...it's extra quiet and feels especially empty. It's interesting how each family member brings a certain energy to a home. So, having Brin move out -- even if it's less than an hour away -- changes the vibe. Her "spark" is missing. It's hard to put into words.

 

You're probably dying to see her new space! 

    

The cinder block walls totally make the space, don't you think? Especially when they're painted that non-color. So chic!

Brinley did her best to give the cave space some personality (don't you love the painted clothes pins?). AND, shockingly, she fit all of her clothes into the teeny dorm-sized closet. Oh, and the drawers. And the extra bins we put under her raised bed (there's a lot of space down there!). Okay, not all of her clothes -- all of the clothes that she took with her, the clothes that aren't filling her closet and dresser here at home (the girl's got a lot of clothes! my mom says that's MY fault. as if!).

I wish I'd taken more pictures. The miniature closet and rocking (i don't mean like "cool", i mean it actually rocks. why? i don't know) desk chair are most impressive. I should have taken more...and I would have, except I had this giant lump blocking my throat and it was taking all of my energy to be "so excited", which I was -- so excited, I mean -- but, it was A Moment.

My firstborn, my only daughter, is in college. And I am the only girl left here in a house bursting with my awesome, happy, energetic... sweaty, stinky boys. Also, I am the parent of a college student. I am old. Awesome.

    

I may need another moment.

parenting tip: how to score Cool Mom points

 
Feeling like you're not the hippest mom on the block? I recently discovered a surefire path to super-cool.

First, score awesome tickets to a U2 concert.

Then, invite a couple of your kids -- and a friend or two? -- to go with you.

Drive them to the concert in the MiniCooper. Make sure you see an acquaintance on the road. Sidle up to his car (safely, of course) so your boys can reach out and grab his extra VIP parking pass. Then, drive past all those poor people who have to park far away and take the train to the concert. Do NOT scold the boys for yelling at those same people out the window.

Buy tons of snacks -- a five dollar soda? Sure!

Then, rock out all night long. (This is where you revert to your uncool self and pass out earplugs -- ear safety first, people). If you know the words to the songs, you score bonus points.

Make sure you get home past midnight -- on a school night -- and you're guaranteed to be crowned Coolest Mom Ever.

It seems like a lot of effort, I know. But, when the reward is this (look at that face!)...

...it's totally worth it.

 

 

ps- not to brag or anything, but... the next night? the midnight premiere of kung fu panda 2 with a group of mac's friends. i think i scored enough Cool Mom points to last a looong time -- or at least long enough to catch up on some sleep.