A lot can happen in 7 months. Remember Walker's surgery last February? You may have wondered how he's been doing. Let me share the good stuff first. In the months since the surgery, Walker has grown a couple of inches (he's taller than I am!) and gained about twenty (much-needed) pounds. He's been playing lacrosse (practice only, no games), working out with Madsen and getting stronger. His symptoms (mostly horrible headaches) have gone away completely. He feels and looks great.
It's so good. We feel blessed.
Since some of my dearest friends follow my blog and, because I don't keep in touch as well as I should, I thought I would give the latest update. Walker had his six-month appointment in September. We were disappointed to find out that the syrinx (blockage) in his spine has not gone away -- it hasn't even gotten any smaller.
Long story short: Walker needs another surgery. It's tomorrow.
Although I've had a few moments of sadness/fear/frustration, I've been given many reminders that I have much to be thankful for. I've met people and had conversations that seem to be exactly right -- at the right moment. Walker has been involved in the decisions that we've had to make regarding his surgery (we were given two difficult options). He has been so thoughtful in his decision-making -- when did he get so grown up?
I have come to realize something that is humbling and overwhelming, and that is that this boy trusts me. He believes I will make the right choices for him. He has more faith in me than I have in myself.
And so, I've done what I believe a mother does when her fourteen-year-old son looks at her with eyes that are sure and unwavering. I've gotten to work to find the answers. I have spent hours researching, sending the most pertinent information to my most trusted partner and advisor: K, the king of logic and numbers; I have called other mothers who've had to make similar choices for their kids; I have consulted with K, my amazing family and another (kind and patient) doctor; and I have prayed... a lot. K and I have spent countless hours discussing, worrying, deciding, then changing our minds and deciding again. In the end, I had to listen to my heart and, when Walker came to me and told me what he wanted to do, and it matched perfectly with what I'd been feeling... the decision was made.
And so, once again, we are moving forward, looking toward days when Walker is running around again.
I am being reminded -- every day -- that I don't have to make decisions alone, that I am being watched over and helped. I am also learning that the trust of a child turns us into stronger people than we thought we were.