long story short

he works hard (for the money)

Madsen often explains to us why it is that he cannot do a lot of chores around the house. Um, hello...? It's cuz he's real busy. He has lots of homework and he plays high school sports -- not like the rest of us slackers who do nothing at all -- except run a company (K) and raise a family (me), for example. Plus, he's got a social life. How on earth is he supposed to fit in extra chores?!

A few months ago he decided that "his" (it's not his) truck needed "subs" to make it truly cool. (dude, my family had a brown mini-van -- with paneling -- when i was your age! just sayin'... count your blessings!) For those of you that are not hip to the cool lingo: subs = subwoofers; they make your super-cool tunes, well, super-cool-er.

Can you believe that we told him that HE would have to come up with some dollars for the subs? We are the lamest parents ever. But what is even more unbelievable than our lameness is that -- what do you know? -- the kid can really work. I took advantage of his subwoofer dream and got so many things done around here. Yardwork, clean-up, errands, etc.

The high-point: Madsen hired his brothers one day and got the leaves raked, swept and bagged in record time. I think he paid them a dollar and somehow convinced them it was an awesome deal. He's a modern-day Tom Sawyer.

The low-point (which was actually the high-point for me): I made him wear a face mask in public while he scraped and sanded the fence in front of our house. I couldn't have him inhaling old paint and metal dust, right? He was so bugged -- how was he supposed to look cool when people drove by if he was wearing a mask? I sat in the house and laughed my head off -- and took pictures. I got my fence repainted (it looks great now) AND Madsen, desperate for money, had no choice but to comply with my (crazy, ridiculous) demands.

In the end, it took awhile, but Mads earned the money. Now I can hear him -- and his awesome subs -- coming long before he gets to the house. He learned the importance of working for what he wants and of doing a good job. He also learned that, if you research and shop around, you can save a lot of money on car audio parts (which is especially important when it's your money--not mom and dad's). And he discovered that subwoofers sound even better when you've earned the money to buy them yourself. As for me, I got lots of big jobs done around the house and the yard for a pretty good price... and I saw that my son can be a great worker, without complaining (except for that mask).

Best money I ever spent.

 

 

ps- please forgive me as i try to catch up with some of our happenings from the fall. i'm afraid i've become a bit of a slacker (maybe madsen's right) when it comes to my blog.

happy after all

I've heard from some of you, wondering how our Christmas went...specifically, regarding the no-dog. Some even questioned how I could not give my kids their hearts' desire (jokingly, of course. right....?). So, I thought I'd post a few photos from Christmas Day at our house...

{okay, i'm posting the above photo just so i can tell you: brins and i made this wreath! non-crafters everywhere, rejoice!}

See? It was fine!

We  had a yummy brunch with cousins.

The kids got a few things they wanted; they chose thoughtful gifts for each other; and they spent lots of time with cousins.

K got his first (can you believe he's never had his own?) iPod.

I spent time with my siblings and their awesome families; and, watched my kids hugging each other, which, as every mother knows, is the best gift of all.

Oh. You probably noticed the dog. Yup, my kids got a dog...for the day. That's Rokko, one of my brother's dogs, who got more attention from my kids than any of their "real" gifts (thanks, bro!). 

It was a happy day. Which goes to show that kids don't need to get everything they want to be happy...and that having family around is what makes a holiday great.

 

And yes: the kids still want a dog.

 

walker... a happy new year

Every year, I tell myself and my kids this is gonna be our year. However, the last few years, although happy and blessed, have been kinda tough. 

This last year, as you know, has been challenging for Walker. Two brain surgeries in one year...well, that's not easy. But he's handled it all with a smile and lots of courage.

Yesterday, Walker had another MRI and a follow-up with his neurosurgeon. I have to admit that, when we walked into the exam room, we both had a moment of fear and doubt. We talk positively and try to be upbeat, but, well, we've gotten a lot of bad news in that room. This time, the news was good: The syrinx in his spine is (finally!) shrinking! It has reduced by about two-thirds. His spine is healing and is filling back in where the syrinx was. Best of all (at least in Walker's eyes), the doctor says he can play lacrosse. No tackle football -- ever -- but yes, lacrosse, Walker's passion.

When we heard the news, the color that had drained from Walker's face came rushing back. He sat there, stunned. Then he smiled a little half-smile and I thought this boy is going to be okay. K rushed in a couple of minutes later (have you ever had a doctor that walked into an appointment two minutes early?!) and, after we quickly told him the news, sank into a chair... relieved. I asked a few questions, stared in disbelief when the doctor said that--unless we have any (unlikely) issues-- he'd see us in a year, then we walked out to a beautiful, sunny day.

Deciding to do a second surgery was one of the most difficult decisions of my life. It was a true test of faith. And now I see that it was the right thing. My dad said something to me back then and I repeated his words in my mind when I got scared. He said I should make the best decision I could, then Heavenly Father would take care of the rest and make sure that things were right for Walker. I think that's exactly what's happening.

This time, I mean it: This is gonna be our year.

 

writing series - blue Christmas?

Look what I saw hanging in Hutton's classroom:

No surprise: the kid wants a dog. So do his brothers. Walker has been asking for a dog for about eleven years.

This year, my boys told me that they would forfeit Christmas gifts... if they could just get a dog.

I heard that Hutton has already told his friends that he's getting a dog. I overheard a conversation between Mac and Hutton the other night:

"We better make sure that Ric {my brother} comes for Christmas."

"And brings his dogs, right?"

"Yeah, so he can give us advice and our new puppy can bond with his dogs."

Great. 

I'm having some angst because, guess what? I didn't get a puppy. Can you believe? Even with all those carefully written promises (he will clean up the poop AND teach him to shake!)... no dog.

I think we've already established that I'm a mean mom, but this might earn me a Biggest Grinch nomination.

Cross your fingers for me, would you? Let's hope it won't be a blue Christmas over here.

Woof.

mean mom

'Want to know what happens when you announce that, effective immediately, children will be charged $1 for items left laying around/not put in their proper places? See above photo.

And this one...

My kids are usually pretty good about keeping things organized. But with the arrival of winter, I've been battling a backdoor pile-up of shoes, jackets, hats, backpacks...SNOWBOARD BOOTS (you know who you are). 

First I tried gentle reminders..."I see shoes by the door..."; then came, "seriously? your backpack is on the floor? and your basketball bag? and your history book? SERIOUSLY?"

Then Mean Mom came out and, with a smile, calmly announced the $1 fine. Per item. Per day. Hutton glared at me and muttered something like..."why can't she just be a normal mother?!"

Apparently, insisting that people pick up after themselves is cruel and unusual. (I've also heard that Normal Mothers buy Cheetos and PopTarts all the time. Oh, and Cocoa Puffs).

Hutton's reaction to the Dreaded Dollar Fine was hilarious so sad. But I've held firm and, guess what? People are mostly putting their stuff away again. Peace has been restored.

Hutton is still looking for a normal mother. Poor little Indian brave.

 

(i have no idea why he's wearing that headband)

cousins

Every once in a while, I get a photo that I love. This is one of those. Brinley with three of her cousins. I asked for a quick picture and they started goofing around and laughing so hard...it was a fun moment. I smile every time I look at this.

These kids are all at the same college right now. They watch out for each other, support each other, tease each other. This picture says it all: these cousins like each other.

I always hoped my kids would have cousin-friends. You know, people they like to hang out with because they enjoy them, not just because they're related. So, this picture makes me happy.

I hope they realize how lucky they are to have each other. I wonder if they know how many Sister-Mothers they have. My sisters and I love each other's children so much. We call each other and share our kids' happenings, heartbreaks, funny moments, challenges and triumphs. We stress when one struggles, we celebrate when another succeeds... we love and mother them all. I've always hoped that the sister-love would spill over into our children.

Looking at this picture makes me think that maybe it has.

 

canSURVIVE

Did I ever tell you that Hutton and I were asked to participate in canSURVIVE 2011? It's an event that benefits Needs Beyond Medicine, an organization dedicated to educating and raising awareness about cancer. (I hate cancer). We were photographed several months ago and our photo, along with many others', was unveiled recently at a fundraising event downtown. (I have no idea why we look so serious in the photo. Yikes!)

My cancer experience(s) will be with me forever. I used to hate that. But now, I realize that I need to accept that those experiences, for good or bad, are part of who I am. 

This event was pretty amazing. To see photos of all those people that have battled and to read their stories... well, it was an experience. A couple of featured people were adult survivors of childhood leukemia. It was nice for all of us to see thriving grown-ups that had been through what Hutton had. It was touching to see my kids slowly going throught the gallery, reading the stories... thinking. (in case you're wondering: yes, walker went. but he got sick on the way and spent the night on the couch in the lobby. so sad).

    

Secretly, I was kind of overwhelmed by the whole thing. I was walking through, reading the stories...remembering. I held it together and tried to be extra cheerful. K's eyes were shiny though, which broke my heart. Cancer isn't just hard for the one who's sick -- people don't usually think about that.

All of the participants were asked to write something to go with their photos. I hadn't remembered what I'd written back then. It was strange to read my own words. Here's what I wrote:

{for my photo}

Being a survivor means that I can do hard things and that I can be strong. I have five children. The youngest was a year and a half old and the oldest was twelve when I was diagnosed. When you have children you learn to be strong -- for them. You learn to be happy in difficult circumstances. You learn to notice the beauty and the miracles in the everyday. You learn to keep going. When you have kids, and cancer, you don't give up.

During my cancer journey -- and my son's -- I was often surprised to find myself laughing...happy. Somehow, hope would overshadow my fear, if only for a moment. So, to others who have cancer, I say...hold your head up, keep moving forward and never, never, never lose hope.

{for hutton's photo}

When you hear that your child has cancer, your world stops for a moment. You realize that heartbreak is an actual physical feeling. You are afraid. When your child has cancer, you learn to dig deep and to be strong for another person. If you open yourself up and look past your fear, you will learn from your child.

I know I did.

Hutton taught me that every day is good, even when you feel terrible and you are afraid. He taught me not to dwell on the difficult times, but to move forward. He taught me to look for the fun in life and to laugh. Hutton taught me to slow down and watch as the beauty of our life unfolded. 

Having a child with cancer means that you will watch your child suffer and that you will be afraid. But, it also means that you will see the greatness in your child... and be changed forever.

*****

 

ps - if you want to see a few more of the portraits displayed, click here. this photographer, a cancer survivor himself, is an awesome guy.

our town

Have you ever wondered what it's like where I live? My neighborhood is probably much like yours. My favorite things about my neighborhood:

- it has lots of trees

- it has a little town center within walking distance

- it has a good mix of old and new

Do you love where you live? What's your favorite thing about your town?

Here is a representation of my town, not just my neighborhood, but the greater metro area. Courtesy of Hutton's 2nd grade class:      
   

Awesome, right? Most of these pictures were taken with my phone, so they're not the best, but you can tell that these kids worked hard.

Can you see the city dump? The local frozen yogurt shop? The zoo? The amusement park?

And no town would be complete without Target and 7-11.

Hutton chose to make the neighborhood post office and Wendy's restaurant. I may be biased, but I thought his were the best. :)

So, that's our town. As you can see, it's a place with lots of neat places to see and visit.

Maybe seeing my town (in miniature) will inspire you to come for a visit...?

 

i am thankful

I don't often post pictures of myself on my blog. I guess it's because I don't have many -- and those I do have aren't great (is everyone self-conscious about their photos?). But, I thought it was appropriate today because I hit a big milestone this month and I have been thinking about it a lot the last few days.

This month marks five years since I finished my cancer treatments. Five years. In the cancer world, that's an important marker. It was five years ago, to the day, that my family gave the family yell (it's weird, but awesome) from all over the country to celebrate The End. It seems like yesterday, and forever ago, at the same time.

I spent Thanksgiving at my awesome sister's house (they're all awesome, my sisters).  There was lots of laughter, lots of fun, lots of food (so much food!) and lots of pie (i love pie). I was reminded, again, how great life is, how much fun it can be. It's great that we have a holiday that's all about being grateful, and about family -- whether you're with them or not. 

So, in the spirit of Thanksgiving, and to celebrate my five year mark, I give you my thankful list -- it doesn't include everything, of course, because that would be too long. And my blog is "long story short"-- even though my posts are never that short (and now I'm rambling). 

I am thankful...

...for my health; my hair (for me, being bald was awful. yay hair!); a body that knows how to fight...

... for my brave, wise children, who gracefully face their challenges; a husband that endures my crazy; my amazing friends...

... for siblings (and their awesome spouses) that care; nieces and nephews who don't mind hugs; parents that love each other...

... for people who listen and those that make me laugh; people who know my flaws and love me anyway...

... for second chances; miracles; lessons learned and relationships strengthened; faith and hope...

... for good books and a house that feels like home.

And pie. 

Happy Thanksgiving, everybody!

 

writing series - should i be nervous?

Today I am highlighting two writing samples. They were not done at the same time, although both are recent. What they have in common is the fact that both made me stop and question the mindset of the writer. I think you'll see what I mean...

Sample #1: Using Adjectives

Is it me? Or is this weird/creepy/unsettling? The assignment was to choose a word, then think of adjectives to describe it.

Devil? Really?

Should I worry about this boy? He even looks a little devilish in this picture.

Sample #2: The Creepy Wives' Tale That Never Dies

This was not a writing assignment, rather a note that Hutton wrote to himself. It's a reminder list of how to make "Bloody Mary", some creepy crazy lady, appear in the mirror:

You'll need a flashlight and a mirror. Say "Bloody Mary" 13 times.

He heard about it at school, from kids in the know-- every school has them, those kids in the know. Remember this creepy tale from when you were a kid? I do. I thought it was weird and scary back then. I still do now. I was really hoping that my children would be spared the Bloody Mary stuff, but none of them have been.

I didn't realize what Hutton was doing that day when, with a friend, he asked for a flashlight and ran upstairs. They were "playing" for quite a while. When they came back down, Hutton smacked his list down on the counter and expressed his disgust that it didn't work. No Bloody Mary. He was miffed. His friend seemed...relieved. Very relieved.

I decided that, although these writings were a bit strange, Hutton was not a weirdo. But, recently, he has started hiding around corners and behind doors, jumping out to scare me. It's so evil. I've been reduced to my little girl self who, when sent to the storage room to fetch a can of this or that, cautiously tiptoed into the basement, checking every corner and every door, heart pounding with fear... only to be scared out of my wits by my father, who jumped out of dark corners and closets. Evil! Later, in my early married years, K tried the same kinds of tricks. I won't go into detail about that -- suffice it to say that I was scarred for life.

Now, I've got another scarer in my life. A 4-foot tormenter. A pint-size monster who, like the men in my life before, delights in the screaming, wide-eyed fear of others. His evil cackles -- "I scared you! Ha! Ha! I really SCARED you! Did everybody see that? I scared her! Hahahahaha! -- seem to be echoed by his grandfather's -- and father's -- equally wicked laughs years ago.

My dad and K turned out okay. So, maybe I won't worry too much about Hutton's dark side. But you can believe I'll be watching dark corners and checking behind doors. I'll also be waiting...

...for a certain small dark-haired boy to let his guard down. Mmmwahahahaha....